Get Published. Write For Us.
The Cynic Online Magazine
 
Home Poetry News Humor Archives About
 
 
Cafe Del Soul
FarceHaven
Comics
MySpace Group
The Archives
Submissions
About
Contact Us
The Cynic Online Magazine's
The Best Of 2008
Features


America --
The ‘New’ Old Germany
By WR Marshall -- Staff Writer [Email This Story]

I should have seen this coming. I’ve been around the edges of it for years now. After watching the Bush machine slowly grind America into a second-rate debtor nation, I figured we were on our way to becoming Great Britain or France. I even thought -- if the Chinese changed their mind and decided to call in our $9 trillion note or trade in Euros instead of dollars -- we had a shot at becoming Argentina. So how did I miss that we’re already Germany. I’m not talking about modern, post-Commie, no more east and west, you can get a Mercedes anywhere Germany; I’m referring to blackshirt, goose-stepping, Poland invading nation of yore.

For those of you who are history-challenged, that would be bad old Nazi Germany.

And I’m not blaming it all on Bush, although he did get the ball rolling by invading a sovereign nation which had done us no harm, then adding domestic spying and torture to the American value-meal menu. But there is an historical irony here: like Germany’s push for world domination back in the ‘40’s, the war is dragging on, our army is broken, our economy on the brink of collapse, and our fearless leader -- who is actually less popular than that German guy -- is doing his version of hiding in a bunker waiting for the end.

Yet it’s bigger than just Fuehrer Bush, (not that his stone and barbed wire fence along the southern border should bring anything particular to mind: "Papers, you hef papers, ja.")

If you squint, you’d swear Karl Rove is Joseph Goebbles reincarnated. Goebbles was the Nazi propaganda boss, and there isn’t a trick he used that wasn’t picked up and made nastier by Rove. The politics of hate and separation, and let’s not forget homophobia and racism . . . it’s too bad Rove left office before he could blame everything on the Jews again.

And it’s bigger still.

Republican nominee and hip replacement candidate, John McBush, (thank you Mo Dowd), has embraced Catholic-hating minister John Hagee. Back in the Tag, next to Jews, the German boss had a real dislike of Catholics.

Even Billary got into the act with a bit of racial distrust. Some of it coded, "Obama can’t win with white working people," some of it not, "Jesse Jackson won South Carolina." See, if you can’t scare voters with white folk, scare ‘em with a black guy.

We have the anti-gay stormtroppers gearing up for another fight and, if you’re still not convinced, Mississippi -- always a bastion of liberal good sense -- recently introduced legislation that makes it illegal for restaurants to sell food to fat people. (The obese rarely look good in those tight uniforms and jackboots . . . although the black is slimming.)

And finally.

"His primary rules were: never allow the public to cool off; never admit a fault or wrong; never concede that there may be some good in your enemy; never leave room for alternatives; never accept blame; concentrate on one enemy at a time and blame him for everything that goes wrong; people will believe a big lie sooner than a little one; and if you repeat it frequently enough people will sooner or later believe it."

I thought it was Fearless Non-Golfing Leader Bush too, but it’s a report from WWII, (circa 1943), from the Office of Strategic Services, titled, "Hitler as His Associates Know Him."

Sometimes I just hate being right . . . 

Enjoy this item? Send it on to a friend [Email This Story]


More 2008 Best of Features
2048
by Lee Gimenez

A Fallen Comrade
by Wayne Scheer

America --
The ‘New’ Old Germany

by WR Marshall

An Open Letter to Prince Albert II of Monaco
by Tom Johansmeyer

Are You Bronze- Worthy?
by Diane Steinbach

Awake Into A Dream
by Nathaniel Fincham

Big Secrets
by Benjamin Matvey

Chained to the Treadmill
by Sola Biu

Cracker Nation
by WR Marshall

Cuisine by Candlelight...Maybe I Could Cater
by Jim Whitaker

Diet Soda Can Kill You
by Peter Schwartz

God Almighty: Good Enough for Northwestern
by Tom Jemielity

Hashimoto's Hold the MSG
by Diane Steinbach

How Guns n Roses Ruined My Questionable Reputation
by Diane Steinbach

Me for Veep
by WR Marshall

OK, Little Girl, Drag It Down Here and Don't Forget the Toolbox
by Jim Whitaker

Osama’s Farce Haven
by RW Maynard

Reinventing the Wheel for Fun and PROFIT!
by Bob Redpath

So You Wanna be Vegan?
by Christine Stoddard

Sohei
by Pembroke Sinclair

The Ark Project
by Clifford A Hui

The Epic Quest of Big Epicness
by Christopher Schmitz

The Gloaming
by Kris Williams

The Messenger
by Lee Gimenez

The Other Night with Savannah
by Jim Whitaker

The Plus Sizes Protest Against Jessica Simpson
by Mark Kentish Smith

The Price of Ginseng
by HR Williams
 
More 2008 Best of FarceHaven Tribune
Aerosmith Narrowly Averts Decent Album
by Bill Shepherd

Alec Baldwin Advocates Eating One's Pets
by Jonathan Lowe

Craig Caught in Stall with Ahmadinejad
by David Sklar

No One Surprised When Local Man Arrested For Serial Murder
by Bill Shepherd

Number of Bear Cubs in Single Mother Homes Astronomical
by Bill Shepherd

PETA Protests at Pole
by Joanne Schiffbauer

Porn Distributors to Preemptively Bid on Miley Cyrus Sex Tape
by Bill Shepherd

Suicide by Ice Cream Sandwich
by Tom O’Donnell

USPS Message to Osama Bin Laden
by Philbert of Macadamia
 

More 2008 Best of Cafe Del Soul
Affairs of the Night
by Karim Hetherington

Amaranthine
by Timothy Loney

Bequeath Of Me
by Darryn John Murphy

Conjuring
by Louie Crew

Fleur de lis Nights
by Charlene Howard

Into the Black
by Terry Hamel

Music Appreciation
by Michael Keshigian

Nocturne in a Purple Bar
by GK Thomas

Soul Storm
by Julia Newbern

Stormy Silence
by Rachelle Renken

That Little Boy
by Kenneth Mushrow

The Cadence of Earth
by Joanna M Weston

The Pledge of Allegiance
by Gregory Jonathan Hill

There Beneath the Northern Sky
by Daniel Freeman

Thief
by Michael Keshigian

To Beauty Pageant Judges
by Gerald Bosacker

Vortex 1
by Lindsey Terrell

Wonder Drug
by Mark Joslyn

You Say Obama I Say Osama
by Rick Doehring