Greatings Dear Cynical Reader,

Roughly ninety two percent of the year, The Cynic Online Magazine proudly delivers premium Cynical content at a price that the average American audience can afford -- free! And it is hard work delivering this content nearly year round and dammit --we've had enough! This holiday season we want Elves, Christmas trees, peppermint sticks, tinsels and silly little Santas that jiggle their butts to Jingle Bell Rock. We want menorahs and dreidels -- eight days of presents and Kwanzaa! What would a holiday season be without Kwanzaa? Not that we know what Kwanzaa is, but we want it!

Oh sure, we could write about how the holiday season is traditionally a time when families get together to fuss and fued and to see who has the cooler stuff. We could go on about how it's a time to talk about how bad the holiday food came out this year and how no amount of gravy will rescue the cook. We could talk about how it's a time to feel disjointed and disconnected from your fellow man. We could tell you about how it's the time of year when you fight through the hell of long shopping lines and scream expletives at your fellow human being when that cretin steals your parking spot at the mall.

But who doesn't know about this stuff? We all know the hells of the holiday season so much that an issue devoted to how they suck would be as easy as making fun of our President.

What we want in our stockings this year is for you to write uplifting stories, stories of hope and stories of peace. We want poems or songs about love, joy and the spirit of the season. If you've wanted to write that epic poem about the fluffy white snow bunny that saved Kwanzaa, now's your chance! If you think you can bring us the holiday cheer this season then please help us! We're so desperate for a little holiday cheer, we might even pay you for it!

That's right folks, for a limited time only, submissions that we deem to be the best in two distinct categories have a chance of winning up to one hundred US dollars. That's right baby! What's more in the spirit of the holidays than us giving you some greenbacks -- See? Even money is Christmassy. It's green like the tree.

Details

Each article/story/poem will be placed in one of two categories.

1-Short Works

This category consists of anything that is shorter than 2000 words (which is roughly 3 single spaced pages.) Works can be poetry, short story or essay.

2-Long Works

This category is for any piece of work that is 2000 words or longer but less than 10000 words.

The prizes are as follows (in US dollars):

Long Works-

First Place

$100

Second Place

$50

Third Place

$25

Short Works-

First Place

$50

Second Place (2 winners)

$25

Should either category falls shorter in the number of submissions than a predetermined number of writers, then both categories will be combined into a general pool.

Prizes in the general pool:

First Place (1 winner)

$100

Second Place (2 winnders)

$50

Third Place (3 winners)

$25

For complete contest rules, please visit www.cynicmag.com/rules.htm.

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