There are those that say I shouldn't do it (They're probably right.)

Anyway, I was on one end of a leash. There was a basset hound on the other end, sniffing around for the best place to poop. This process can take several minutes, so I found myself with time to think.

That's the thing I shouldn't be doing. Not pooping... thinking.

Because when you're at one end of a leash, with the mighty Pooping Machine at the other, your mind starts wandering, since you don't really want to watch what's going on with the dog.

I wondered that we've lost one of our most important freedoms. That freedom?

The freedom to evacuate our waste.

Hold on! Don't go away! Sheesh. It's a normal human function. It's okay to talk about it!

Think about it. Back in the frontier days, if you had to go, you went behind a bush, did your business, wiped with whatever leaves were available, prayed that they weren't poison ivy, and kicked dirt over the whole thing.

Think you could get away with this now?

Nope. Nowadays we have to rely on the friendly folks at McDonalds.

Aw, c'mon. Don't tell me you've never done it.

You're driving around, clutching a Big Gulp in your lap since it won't fit in your cup holder, and Mother Nature calls.

Trouble is, you can't answer the old-fashioned nature way. You have to find a restroom.

So where do you go?

Well, it's against the law to urinate or defecate in public, right? So wouldn't you think our lawmakers would put up all kinds of nice restrooms for us, paid for with our tax dollars? Yeah, right, they're too busy raising taxes. And sure, you can find the occasional public restroom out on the freeways. But how good are these going to do you if you're not on the freeway?

Nope, you're forced to rely on the hospitality of strangers, like McDonalds.

So you pull up to McDonald's, your bladder screaming obscenities at you for waiting so long, and you rush into the Mc-restroom, do your business, and rush back to your car, ... without even stopping to buy a Big Mac!!

You expect the restroom to be clean. Paid for by McDonalds. There'd better be toilet paper, right? Paid for by McDonalds. Soap? (Well, for most people.) Paid for by McDonalds. Heated? Brrrr. Yep, its got to be heated. Paid for by McDonalds. Condoms? Well, maybe not at McDonalds, but you sure expect gas stations to provide this necessary vending service.

You get the point.

I don't feel guilty about it. I always rationalize that I give McDonalds quite a bit of business every year, so it's okay that I use their Mc-restrooms whenever I need to, whether I'm in for chicken nuggets or not.

Still, though, it's a strange kind of entitlement, isn't it?

Yup.

You know. My dog goes poop about three times a day.

Lots of time to think.

I'm sure you appreciate this, right?