I think it's time we cut the little weasel a break.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. .... I'm not talking about the President. Silly you.

I mean the furry creature, the real weasel. The oft-maligned egg stealing rodent.

And that's just the first misunderstanding. The weasel isn't really a rodent, it's an attorney. Just kidding, I mean, carnivore. The attorney is a rodent. And, um,... most Presidents are attorneys. So, that makes... uh, well, okay... Where was I going with this?

Anyway, the weasel gets too much bad press. How many times have you heard the phrases, "you lying little weasel!" or "don't try to weasel out of it" or "you have a weasel in your shorts"?

Do these bring up positive connotations?

And what is it with that "Pop Goes the Weasel song?" Are we talking about a bubble-gum chewing weasel? I think not.

The weasel deserves a lot more respect, like its cousins the raccoon, badger, wolverine and mink. It is a wily hunter, fearless, agile, with commando-like stealth abilities. They are as aggressive as a wolverine, as relentless as a woman shopper the day after Thanksgiving. And they're smart, too. Have you ever seen a dead weasel road kill? Thought not. They're way too smart to wrestle with a Toyota.

Most of the weasel's bad rap is due to its tendency to steal eggs. If so, it's not fair. Give them a break. It's not like they can purchase eggs at the local supermarket. They aren't preferred credit risks for Visa or Mastercard, because as a species they have a habit of running up their charge card bills and ruining their credit. Courageous, yes. Wily, yes. Thrifty, nope. They just gotta have that big screen TV.

Not only that, I think it's time that some college football team named itself The Weasels. After all Michigan has the Wolverines and Wisconsin has the Badgers. So how about changing the Washington Huskies to the Washington Weasels? Kinda has a ring to it, huh? Makes more sense, too. Huskies are in Alaska, not Washington. You ever seen a dog sled mushing around the Lincoln Memorial? I mean, really, give me a break. (Oh, Washington State? Sorry)

Wisconsin would have taken the name, but apparently the Weasel Union won't allow it. There's some kind of backlash for a heinous joint study at the University of Wisconsin and Michigan State University. Seems these schools, who.. get this.. pride themselves on academics, are in reality brain thieves!!!

Do you hear me!!! Brain thieves!!!

If you're a mammal, don't go anywhere near either of these universities. They are hoarding brains, including human brains(!!!), and posting pictures in something they laughingly refer to as their "Comparative Mammalian Brain Collection."

You don't believe me?? Okay, check it out yourself at www.brainmuseum.org. Then email your apology to me.

In fact, maybe you ought to get out there and visit them yourself. And while you're there, check out their rare collection of President's brains. Just don't blink when you go by that section. You might miss it.

And, most of all, don't ever turn your back on any "scientists."