I'm sure either you or someone you know wants to go to Harvard. It's only natural. I'm also sure you've come across lots of advice about how to get in. I know what's out there: find something you love and dedicate yourself to it. Do community service. Be a star athlete. All well and good, but I actually got in. So forgive my presumption, but I think I know a little bit better than some guidance counselor at school or your dad's friend from work who went back in 70s (when anyone could get in so long as they could pay and weren't fighting in Vietnam). I've compiled list of the most important things you can do to maximize your chances for success; I've numbered them so you won't get lost.

1. Pad that resume. Make it so thick that it goes on to the supplementary application. You want every recommendation letter to mention at least five different activities you've done. By no means focus on one; that just means you're close-minded.

2. Plan to make money, because Harvard wants money from its graduates. There are undesirables who are unable to do this. They take their fancy education and waste it working for an NGO, or worse, make loads of cash only to unload it on the homeless. You want to convince them from the very first that you care only about you and yours, and that therefore you will give money as an alumnus or alumna to ensure your children will also be able to do the same. Community service is a dead-end.

3. Get creative with your application. Don't just write any old personal statement, discussing how you fell in love with politics, when your mother/brother/cousin got leukemia, or when you came face to face with poverty while building houses in Caracas or huts in Botswana. You can do more, like answering all applicable prompts in haiku. For example, work experience:

Over last summer,

I was a corporate whore

I made much money

See? Deep stuff, right there. That's the kind of thing they want to see: initiative and a drive to succeed. If that seems difficult, have your parents pay a professional to write your haikus for you; they're more qualified to talk about what makes you a desirable applicant than you are. Another alternative is to hire someone to film (professionally, of course) your activities (eating cereal, using the bathroom, etc.) and do a dramatic voiceover--film resumes are the new paper resumes.

4. When you get your interview, make sure to wear a snazzy outfit. Be classy. Then, make sure to look down your nose at your interviewer. Harvard students absolutely must maintain an acceptable level of elitism at all times. This will be difficult, as your interviewer has already attended Harvard. It's a test: If you can be sufficiently snobby in front of an older, successful member of the Harvard alumni, then they know you'll be able to hold your own in the fall and in the future.

Well, that covers the biggest mistakes many prospective students make during the admissions process. Now I can't guarantee you'll get in, but I do know that if you follow these five point, your failure won't be for lack of superb advice. It'll be because your grades were a trifle too low, or your SAT score was more appropriate for a publicly funded university.