Poll Of the Month

A Cynic Online Magazine Misadventure

Question # 1: Punishment
What would be the most appropriate punishment for Martha Stewart? 
She will have to wear a purple and green plaid and polkadot prison outfit for the length of her sentence. 
She will have to flip burgers at McDonalds at less than minimum wage. 
She will have to give up her infamous blonde locks in favor of a pink mohwak and nosering. 
She'll have to eat the burgers she cooks at McDonalds. 
She'll have to go out on live Television without makeup. 

Question # 2: Last Polls
If this were the last polls the Cynic was going to do, what would you do? 
Celebrate. It's about time! 
Write the editors and ask they don't end it. (Yes, we're seriously considering ending them) 
Cry. I'll miss them 
First we lose Friends and then the Polls, the world ain't fair. 

Question # 3: MasterMind
If you were an evil master mind, how would you take over the world? 
By stealing everyones left sock and car keys 
I'm not sure, but it would involve 53 donuts, a can of petroleum jelly, plumber's tape and a lab mouse named Muff Beezlebottom. 
By implanting little rock bands in everyones heads that only play Milli Vanilli and New Kids on the Block 
Well, I was shooting for a second term, but this Kerry guy's come out of nowhere is starting to kick my ass in the polls. 
Sorry pal. The world's already mine -- signed Bill Gates 

Question # 4: Wearing Tights
If you could have super powers, what would you want? 
First I'd want invisibility, so I can to nudist beaches undetected and then of course, I'd want X-Ray vision for all those times I'm not at the nudist beach. 
I'd like the power to resist temptation from Catholic Priests. 
I don't need superpowers. I have the power of hypnosis. You think I'd get laid without it? 
I don't need superpowers to make me special, my mommy says I'm so. 
I don't know what I want, but my spouse would like me to have that nifty tongue Toad had in the X-Men movie. 

Question # 5: Money Maker
Which of the following get rich quick schemes are you most likely to do? 
I'd marry J-Lo. 
I'd marry J-Lo (This would be, of course, our second marriage) 
Not Sure. For some reason the name Enron comes to mind though. 
I'd invent, market, patent and sell a new concept I like to call smokeless toilet paper. 
Well, the one where I convince the government to invade Iraq so I can have my former company overcharge the government for gasoline has been taken. 

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